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Sunday, April 05, 2009

Not Dead. Yet.

Yesterday I received the following two emails about four hours apart:
Tom: 
I'm not kidding.  Some time in the last two years both my wife and I swear that we heard on the news that you died. I guess that's not true, huh? 
Rick xxxxxx
St Louis, MO 
Awhile ago I heard you passed away. I was very sad. I am glad that you are still alive. I always loved your Motel 6 commercials. Take care Mr. Bodett, and again, I'm glad you're alive.
Steve
Fresno, CA

This raises two immediate questions -- 1) Who is telling people I'm dead?  2) What happened yesterday to indicate I wasn't?   More important, I suppose, than the answers to those are the concerns it raises for the dearly not-so departed.  For example, should I get a publicist?  I have never been much of a self-promoter and always assumed I was just as famous as I deserved to be whether up or down. But, I never figured I'd be one of those "I thought you were dead" guys.   Granted, my professional output is down during these child-rearing years, but it's not like I'm, well, dead.   

I suppose it's possible my publisher or a speculative bookseller [there's a redundancy] started spreading the rumor of my death in the hope of stimulating book sales.  They severely underestimate my fans.  If you, dear reader, were to learn of my death most certainly you'd figure my back list of titles would be out of print within a year and you would be able to pick them up at discount booksellers for twenty cents on the dollar.  That's what I like about you.

Motel 6 might keep my death a secret for awhile; propping me up in the radio saddle like Attila the Hun until the whole thing started to smell.  That scenario does raise the question of whether AFTRA and SAG require producer pension contributions for deceased performers.

I could go on and on about this, but it's Sunday and I have a lot of chores to do around the house.   The trash needs hauling.  The perennial beds need to be raked.   The tractor needs grease.   I've no time to be dead.   In fact, to save time I've already composed a list of Last Words and today could be my lucky day.  My favorite so far:   "That jack looks a little wobbly".

9 Comments:

Blogger Sheryl said...

I'm so glad you're not dead. I didn't think you were, or else all your 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me' appearances would have surely creeped me out. (Unless those haven't been you, and Carl Kasell just has one really good impression in him after all! -- See, death conspiracies always lead to more conspiracies. Sheesh.)

Anyway, as one of your Twitter stalkers, just thought I'd let you know that most people use http://tinyurl.com to shorten their links.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Tim F. said...

Maybe they read your blog from Dec. 14 '07... you were on a flight with Mike Ditka. and “Others killed or missing include folksy pitchman Don Burdett.”

Or perhaps you drowned, naked in a pool of chocolate.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Julia F said...

I had not heard that you were dead, but now I see I am going to have to look into it.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Kathleen said...

As another of your Twitter "stalkers," I highly recommend using Tweetdeck, instead of updating via the browser.

Tweetdeck is an application allows you to organize the people you follow into groups (which you can then view in multiple columns), it has the URL shortener included (button to the right of where you enter the tweet), and a dozen other features you probably hadn't even thought about. :-)

http://www.tweetdeck.com/beta/
(pictures, features and download - you will need to install Adobe Air first, which you can do from that URL as well)

10:17 AM  
Blogger Tom Bodett said...

Thank you one and all. Your concern, if not surprise, at my good health warms my heart. The links do too.

3:04 PM  
Blogger thisceci said...

Really proves not to believe everything you read on the internet. Or until person replies back.




Anyway, our minds are at ease again. Thanks Tom.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Carri said...

Dude, that's what you get for de-activating your facebook page...people think you are dead! LOL!
You're right, your true 'friends' will follow you, wherever you hang out!

1:05 AM  
Anonymous jazztheologian said...

Tom,
If people thinking your dead is the trade off for you being less productive but more present for your children then so be it!

Better we think you're dead than your precious little ones...wise choice.

robert gelinas
(jazztheologian.com)

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Susan Kitchen said...

As someone who thought you were, let's just say, 'not alive' as early as yesterday, I'm glad to see that,

a) I'm in good company
b) you're not

I have to say, I was under this strange impression since before the blog was invented... by me*... and therefore it would not have occured to me to look here.


Susan Kitchen
*for someone who erroneously claims to have invented the blog, I am having a hard time figuring out what to do next in order to make this go from here to there- if you're reading this, I've figured it out

1:11 PM  

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