Thursday, April 02, 2009
Sleeping Off Those Extra Pounds
I've recently become concerned about my weight. Not so much that I'm getting fat -- just the expected middle-age "thickening". My pants size hasn't changed in thirty years, but it's trying to and I refuse to budge. "Never give a inch" [sic] was the Hank Stamper family motto in Kesey's Sometimes a Great Notion. I'm going to hang that in my bathroom. But, more of a concern to me than my actual weight is the wildly fluctuating readings on our bathroom scale. It's a pretty good one and has always agreed with the big butcher's scale at the doc's office. So why then does my weight vary up to five pounds in a single day? A couple pounds here and there would account for meals and water, but five? I've set a goal for myself of ten pounds, so having a margin of error of 50% is taking the fun right out of not eating ice cream and every other damn thing I want.
I wake up three to five pounds lighter than I was when I laid down. I can lose half the weight I want by sleeping for seven hours. Now there's a diet program you could sell! I then gain it back by working like a dog for eight hours. Shop work. Woods work. Office work. No matter. Here's those five pounds back. Theoretically I could meet my goal by skipping work and sleeping for two days. I'm not sure I could sell that plan around the house, but it's worth a try.