Friday, March 28, 2008

Big Foot Bunny Droppings

The myth of the Easter Bunny endures one more season in southeastern Vermont. Like the Big Foot hoaxes in the West, large rabbits that poop chocolate and joy are a well-documented phenom in the Green Mountains.

This picture depicts what it might have looked like had the Shackelton Expedition been a family outing.

With another 6 inches of snow falling as I write, signs of spring are everywhere...but here.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter, LLC.

As a Long Lapsed Catholic, LLC, Easter is a celebration filled with guilt, non-resolved resentment, and fear that my non-observance of the past 35 years has condemned by soul to eternal damnation. If this celebration took place in a darker time of year we would all be swinging by the neck from church rafters. But, it's springtime and we somehow muddle through these emotions by participating in the pagan rituals of the season: Easter egg hunts and leaving treats for an imaginary rabbit who brings chocolate idols in its own image -- and Peeps.

As a kid the Easter Bunny would always bring me a bow and arrow set, which by the end of the day had all the rubber suckers removed, the tips sharpened and the neighborhood cats on the run. My sisters got goofy hats that were worn just long enough for the family photo and then strangely disappeared. This oddness at home was amplified at church on Easter Sunday when the priest would wear gaudy robes, the altar boys were tense, and the sour throated choir ladies sang even longer and more painful hymns of little or no application.

Had it made one scrap of sense to me, had anyone bothered to bend down and explain it all rather than twist my ear to sit up straighter on the pew -- I might be a Catholic yet. Instead, I find myself wittling a tip on the end of a toy arrow, scanning the yard for cats and bunnies.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Missing Inaction

I discovered only yesterday that my website has been down since the 12th. It seems my domain name had expired without reason or warning. Who knew these things had a shelf life? In any case, the situation has been resolved and I have purchased the rights to this silly business for the next 20 years. That should cover it.
Sorry for the trouble. Believe me, you didn't miss a thing.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Election Results

With 100% of the ballots tallied, the brownies eaten, and the collapsible voting booths collapsed and stuffed back in the janitor's closet at the elementary school, this blog is prepared to call the open 3 year seat on the Dummerston, Vermont Selectboard for former road foreman, Wayne Emery, who is also the farmer who hays my field.
Today was Town Meeting Day across Vermont and marks the end of my 3 year term on the Selectboard, the last year as chairman. My last act as chair was to present the annual budget to the assemblage of local voters who were kind enough to approve it without too much fuss. If you've never been to a New England town meeting, you should try one. The term "town meeting" has become distorted with over-use as a term for an intimate I-want-to-listen-to-your-concerns staged political event rather than what it is: a legal assembly of local voters empowered to enact laws, raise revenue, and approve town expenditures. When convened the Town Meeting is a parliament of community members governed only by Robert's Rules and a gracious Town Moderator. It truly is democracy at it's best and a real hoot too. Donuts and coffee in the morning. Ham and beans with cole slaw and chocolate pie for lunch. You can put the whole room to sleep in the afternoon just by explaining the figures in the road maintenance section of the budget, which of course, I did.
I loved being a Selectman. I've learned more about roads, bridges, culverts, grand lists, tax rates, open meetings laws, and zoning than is probably good for a person, but what a way to get to know your town. I'll go back to it someday, but I need a little more time in my life for work and my boys and I'm certainly hoping it's less of the former and more of the latter.
And by the way, Barack Obama took Dummerston with 451 votes to Hillary Clinton's 183. I know because I counted them. CNN is calling. I have to go.

© Current Tom Bodett
All Rights Reserved

Reproduction or distribution of any article or portion of this website - such as copying and
pasting into an email to send to all your crummy friends, or harrassing pregnant women,
or for implementation as a flotation device -- is strictly prohibited without written
permission from We mean it. Don't do it.
Steps will be taken. Oh yes. Steps will be taken.
(Unless you really want to, then go ahead. We don't care.)