A Religious Moment

Today, after applying an army of grub-killing nematodes to my decimated lawn...it rained. I've prayed for this happy outcome for weeks. Here are the facts: Nematodes are living microbes and you have to apply them within a day or two of receiving them. They need to be watered into the soil to be effective. I have a well that produces 4 gallons per minute and about two acres of lawn. Do the math on that and you'll realize as I did that if it doesn't rain after setting loose the nematodes, I'm screwed. But it did rain.
Of course, when I say I prayed for rain, I mean that figuratively. I pray for peace. I pray for the health of my children and the fate of the globe. But when I pray for things like David Ortiz homeruns, fresh bagels at the co-op on Saturdays -- or rain -- it simply means that I want it. The Almighty (Yes, He has a website, but no blog yet) has no obligation to fulfill these requests as far as my poorly attended faith is concerned, and besides, when Ortiz hits a homer he gives the Big Guy credit on national television every time he does it. When I get rain for my nematodes after praying for it I sit on the porch and say to my oblivious infant son, "Damned if it didn't rain." From strictly a PR standpoint God would be nuts to listen to me. And He isn't nuts. Unless you get into some of that Old Testament stuff. I wonder if raining frogs on Egypt is anything like applying nematodes? Did it rain afterwards? Now there's a new question to take to Sunday school with you.