Friday, May 26, 2006

A Religious Moment

Today, after applying an army of grub-killing nematodes to my decimated rained. I've prayed for this happy outcome for weeks. Here are the facts: Nematodes are living microbes and you have to apply them within a day or two of receiving them. They need to be watered into the soil to be effective. I have a well that produces 4 gallons per minute and about two acres of lawn. Do the math on that and you'll realize as I did that if it doesn't rain after setting loose the nematodes, I'm screwed. But it did rain.
Of course, when I say I prayed for rain, I mean that figuratively. I pray for peace. I pray for the health of my children and the fate of the globe. But when I pray for things like David Ortiz homeruns, fresh bagels at the co-op on Saturdays -- or rain -- it simply means that I want it. The Almighty (Yes, He has a website, but no blog yet) has no obligation to fulfill these requests as far as my poorly attended faith is concerned, and besides, when Ortiz hits a homer he gives the Big Guy credit on national television every time he does it. When I get rain for my nematodes after praying for it I sit on the porch and say to my oblivious infant son, "Damned if it didn't rain." From strictly a PR standpoint God would be nuts to listen to me. And He isn't nuts. Unless you get into some of that Old Testament stuff. I wonder if raining frogs on Egypt is anything like applying nematodes? Did it rain afterwards? Now there's a new question to take to Sunday school with you.


Anonymous sam said...

dear sir i have just spent the most enjoyable evening reading through all your past blogs, i had almost forgot what it was to laugh but it has all come back. all the way from the end of the road. that was the first book i listened to of yours. again thanks for the laughter. i have three boys of my own the key was keeping them driving ages apart. 2 down 1 to go damn life is good.

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I know I asked about the status of your tapes in an electric format (cd/ipod) several blogs ago...unfortunately being in the Navy and out to sea alot it has take awhile to respond. (although getting a response is very gratifying).

I have really enjoyed all your recordings. Those that are available on CD I have re-purchased. If there is a good electronic copy of those recordings I would be more than happy to re-purchase them from the IPOD store. I have no idea what it takes to make that happen or if you would make a profit from it, but it would be worth it from my point of view. I would like nothing more than to be able to enjoy your tapes during our underway sea time. The recordings are very enjoyable and they also make the time underway go by more quickly.

I hope you continue to produce your recordings. The recordings have improved or at least made life more tolerable in general. All of them made me remember and miss home more, but they also made me remember why the military does what it does.

Thank you for what you have done and making it easier on those that serve in the military. For those that are in the military (and enjoy your musings) I want to say thank you. Take care and continue with your musings since they are a source of comfort and enjoyment to some.


6:07 AM  
Blogger Bobby said...

I hate it when I use up all my prayer credit here and there on the smaller stuff, and then I encounter a really big problem, and I'm a little short.

6:50 PM  
Blogger piglet said...

And now I know (from the handy link to an informative nematode site hosted by University of Nebraska-Lincoln) that there are many types of nematodes, the longest of which is the Placentonema gigantisma, an 8 meter long nematode found only (thankfully) in the placenta of a sperm whale. Who knew that that would be the "something new" I would learn today!

11:05 PM  
Anonymous FlaSuz said...

Thank you and all the US military for what you are doing, too. My husband served in the Navy aboard the Saratoga during the mid-70's. He said they'd all trade books around to make time at sea more endurable. He still has his much-read taped back together Tolkien Lord of the Rings series :) Too bad each person didn't sign the books after they read them, that'd make interesting keepsakes.
My thoughts & prayers are with you,

2:01 PM  

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