Dear Governor Blagojevich,
My reason for telling you all of this is now that you have been abandoned by Candidate #1 (and 2 and 3 and 4 and 6) I would like to be the answer to your Senate appointment problems. I have a clean history -- politically speaking. While I have absolutely no governing skills or experience, certainly that presents no obstacle to office in the Land of Lincoln. I also would undoubtedly make a huge mess of things, so the good people of Illinois would not have to go through any troubling change. For you I could arrange for weekly shipments of cigarettes and smoked meats once you are in prison. I would also keep your portrait hanging in all state buildings. It is hilarious, and good for employee moral.
Illinois has served me (not exactly in the way you have been served) and I would like to contribute in-kind. Particularly to your needs. Certainly you must be feeling a lot of anger and resentment toward US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald and the constitutional republic he represents. So, what better way to extract your revenge than to appoint a completely clueless rube to one of this republic's most distinguished deliberative bodies? It will make them crazy. I guarantee it. Awaiting your learned reply I remain,
Your Humble and Expedient Servant,
Proud Son of Illinois